I am officially done with everything. My dad thinks that I should be more social, but I don’t want to talk to anybody. At all. I can’t explain my feelings through my voice, most of the time not through writing either. When you talk people hear your information. When people hear your information they get nosy and start stuff. When stuff is started everyone knows about it. When everyone knows about it then it sucks because rumors spread. When rumors spread you get depressed. When you get depressed after you are already permanently depressed shit happens that isn’t pretty. I’m being sent to Florida (not complaining) for spring break because my dad thinks it will be good to get away from everything. Yeah right. I can’t just get away it goes where I go, it always follows. My stress never leaves, EVER. Then he said if that doesn’t work I need to talk to a professional because my behavior isn’t normal. Then I think; “Who the fuck are you to tell me MY behavior isn’t normal? I have a right to change whenever the fuck I want to and you can deal with it. Shit has happened to me the last couple months that normal teenagers don’t fucking go through and I never thought would happen in my life. So, please, just fuck off.”
After you think about it.. We go through so much in our lives and death is so easy.. Maybe we shouldn’t cry about dying, maybe we should be relieved that when it comes everything will be more calm.
I feel like I don’t matter to you ever since my brother has moved in. It’s always about him. Him this, him that, don’t forget to feed him. When is it going to be anything about me? Hmm.. You said when things settle down and stuff, but the whole thing is this is never going to blow over. I guess it’s just a nice way of saying I don’t have time for you. I just wish somebody would have time for me. It seems like the only person that does is my stepmom and she isn’t even blood related to me. What the fuck is wrong with me?
What the fuck? Why the hell does my dad take up for every single fucking thing that Tristan does?! It’s never Tristan’s fucking fault. It’s always ”What’s your issue Madison?”
My fucking “issue” is that all you care about is Tristan and don’t even bother thinking of me anymore! So fucking fuck off and get out of my life if you are going to be like that! I will go fucking live on my own asshole!
I can’t think of anything to write at all. You would think all the stress I’ve been going through lately would give me so much to write about, but I think it’s just making me have writer’s block. I’ll try to start posting more so that all of my 0 followers can be updated on everything, and be entertained with my personal life for a little bit.
Now I should be able to post more often.. yippie for all the people that don’t even read this. Anyways finals are over, done. Thank you Jesus. (:
I can’t fucking believe you! How could you get him a dog and then just let it go? You do it all the fucking time! The last four dogs you have gotten him they have magically disappeared when we would visit our dad. You can’t tell him somebody stole it because you put it outside! Why wouldn’t you watch it? You are so fucked up in your head that you don’t even care that all of your kids hate you! Everyone knows that you probably traded it for drugs, or you sold it for money for drugs. I’m done with you now, completely! You can’t make my brother cry and not get me pissed about it!